How to work with fear on stage (and in life)


What if fear of performing, speaking, and creatively expressing on stage was really spirit moving through you?

What if all that energy you call fear are the electric ghosts of souls asking to be seen and heard?

Tupac Shakur said that when he raps, spirits and ancestors move though him, speak through him.

I’ve seen humans become vessels for something bigger.

When they get out of their own way.

When they stop trying to be perfect and go for messy. When they stop trying to act cool and go for outta control. When they stop trying to pretend. To cover up. To mask. To “act.” To impress.

You are wayyyyyyy more interesting than any “idea” of how you think you need to be. This goes for the stage, your brand, your voice, your art.


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Who said the Feminine has to be soft?

Feminine Fire

I’d like to know when the Feminine was labeled as soft. When being called a pussy meant you were weak. I’d like to know when Feminine meant slowwwwwww and laying back to receive without doing anything.

I am all for relax and receive. I’ve jumped on the “feminine” bandwagon myself. Wrote about it. Talked about it.

But something hit me last week.
My feminine is fucking fiery.
It’s precise.
It’ll look fear in the face and pounce.
My feminine is cheeky and dark.
My feminine is hungry.

My feminine is more like the mama lion.

My feminine is more like the woman who has to pu-uuuuuuuush that baby out just when she wants to give up.

My feminine is more like my Russian Jewish Babushka who survived World War 2 and starvation and immigration at 60 years old… and still had the energy to laugh and feed me home-made borscht.

Yes, my feminine loves flow and rest.
My feminine is especially into surrender.

Yes,  yes, yes.


I’m realizing that some of my past non-action was really resistance (and fear!)… Cloaked in a Feminine disguise.

This isn’t about negating the power of flow. Not. At. All.

What I most love about the Feminine is Her ability to slither, to shape-shift, to allow, to create.
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Performance Lab- Honoring the Inner Freak

How do we honor our inner Freak?

The part of us that feel weird, strange, and the Feminine fav…

Too much (that very vague term includes being too loud/too quiet/too bold/too sexy/too showy/too sensitive/ and anything else we can think of)

So how do we honor our too much?

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Performance Lab- On perfectionism

5 ways to break through resistance towards writing (and other creative endeavors)


You dream about it, think about it, wanna create it…. but you don’t.
You have a book, a blog post, a poem, a play you wanna write… but you don’t.

Welcome to resistance.
It feels like molasses. Like mud. Like muck.

Here are a few tips n’ tricks I use to move through the sludge so you can make out with your art:

1. Music. I have a playlist that fires me up. There are some rock stars that make me wanna move, make me wanna be something special. Try turning on the music and rocking out for a song or two. Once you’re grooving and giddy, get writing from there.

2. Dirty Dump it. When there is too much gunk clogging my brain, I dump it. On paper. Try writing down your thoughts for 2 minutes non-stop. Every fear, every doubt, every question just write it out, stream of consciousness style. You should feel lighter and more clear after. And then the creative channel is open for your genius to blast through.

3. SARK method. Sit down and write about how much you DON’T want to write. Pissed that you have to write? Express it. Don’t feel like writing? Let it out on paper. Feeling uninspired? Write about how there is not one tiny ounce of inspiration in your body right now. Do this for a couple of minutes or more, let it rip and….watch as things shift. Suddenly, you are a writing wizard and the wisdom is flowing.

4. Be firm with your inner resistor. I have a lackadaisical inner child. She needs me to mama it up sometimes and put my foot down. And what she really needs is structure—a container. “You will complete this task and this is how: from 2pm-3pm you will sit down and write. No complaining. No running away. 2pm-3pm; you write.” And then I usually reward her with some luscious love date: “Once 3pm hits, we’ll go on a nice long walk or I’ll cook your fave meal or we’ll take a dance class.”

A Container + Love Luscious Love Date works wonders

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SHE: A sacred circle for your Freaky Fierce Feminine Artist Soul


women in red dancingTa-da!! I am soooooooo excited to launch a LIVE monthly circle in LA for artistpreneurs. This space combines personal growth and performance art to support women in being visible, expressed and making the art you’ve been dreaming of.


SHE is for women that long for lusciously long retreats with your artist.

SHE is a sisterhood. Connected. Deep. Playful.

SHE is a place to explore your creative visions…

And. Make. Them. Real.

Bottom line: this is for truth-freakers that ache – long for – MUST HAVE expression in your life. It’s oxygen for your soul. And you know that every part of your life is more alive, flowing, meaningful, and successful when you honor your artist.  SHE is a five month commitment to your Artist.  Once a month (for 5 months) we will gather LIVE in LA for a deep dive weekend retreat with your artist, your sisters in the circle, and me.  You will be asked to birth one creative project during out time together and receive massive support in doing so.

Feeling called?

1. Scope out the deets right: HERE

2. Fill out the application form.

3. Get your app back to me by this Sunday March 8th. You can send it to

Once I receive your app, we will set up a quick call to make sure this is a fit and welcome you to the circle.


To your freaky, fierce, feminine artist SOUL!!!


Binge watching TV, Liberation and Rebellion

A couple weeks ago, it hit me. Crankiness.  Tears. A feeling of malaise.

All I wanted to do was sit and binge watch Suits (which is hot, hot, hot .  I love! I love the comedy. I love Luis. I love Donna. I want to be Donna!)

But I digress.

As the binge watching continued, part of me felt “bad.” I was wondering why I didn’t feel motivated to do anything. If I was taking some time off, shouldn’t I at least be productive while on hiatus? Shouldn’t I be meditating under my favorite sexy oak tree?

I saw one of my friends last week and she asked me what I was up to. I gave her the run down: I was rebranding, I was following up on kickstarter rewards, I was completing connection calls, and I was also having long periods of TV watching. I told her it felt like I wasn’t doing much. She laughed and pointed out that it seemed like quite a bit.

“Why don’t you rest, Christina?” was her answer.


Yes… why don’t I?


What’s the fear behind doing nothing?

I tuned in. I noticed it wasn’t so much fear as judgment from my Good Girl that rest had to be “spiritually” aligned–hours of meditation and silence and journaling to pierce the deep, dark center of my Soul.

Um, gag.

That’s how I felt about that idea last week. This week? Different story. But last week?

Gag, gag, gag.

Amidst the gagging, I reminded myself of this fierce feminine Truth- my  soul is not about spiritual rules. It’s about trusting what my body deeply desires. And what my body deeply desired the past couple weeks was hibernation, less social media, lounging for hours. And I didn’t fully give myself the permission to go there because of the judgment.

My beautiful friend gave me some powerful information that my logical mind really appreciated.

She said they had done a study on successful athletes and what worked for them.  One of the things they found was that…

Superstar athletes pushed their bodies outta their comfort zones and when they did so, the tissues in certain muscles would tear a bit as they grew (a good thing).  But one of the differences that really stood out for successful athletes was that they allowed for deep rest after putting out a lot of energy. The tear would then heal but the muscle would be bigger. Stronger.

The researchers applied this principle of deep rest  to successful leaders and change-makers out and it was noted that those that allowed themselves deep rest  after a growth period were more creative, had more success, and more energy to fuel their goals.

It’s not about tearing our muscles over and over again with no break. It’s about stepping outta our comfort zone, channeling our energy, tearing through the edge of fear/doubt/resistance…

And then deep resting. (Without judging how you decide to do that)

ArtistPreneurs On Stage 3.0



Telling the Truth.


One of the creative projects that filled every glittery cell in my body was the birthing of ArtistPreneurs On Stage 3.0. This is the third time I have run this program where women take the stage with their most personal stories and it always feeds my hungry, horny-for-expression -Soul.

This showing was breath-taking. The women bared it all and the audience was changed. What was profound about this showing was that we included time for audience honoring—meaning the audience got to share with the ladies what they received after they saw the show. Because the women were badass balls of truth-fire; it opened up space for massive vulnerability for the audience.

Men stood up with tears in their eyes and honored what they had just seen…

“We are taught to fight and compete and be manly, because we are scared to do what you just did—that is real power”

“I’ve been to many professional performances; this is the first time I got to see the “performers” souls. Thank you”

This is just some of what was shared.

Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.” Brené Brown

I have permission to share one of the “performers” (truth-freakers).

I Invite you to get a taste of Artistpreneurs On Stage with Reena Lalita Desai performing Liberation.

Reena Lalita Desai- “Liberation” from christina dunbar on Vimeo.

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Three artistic badass viral videos for women to watch this week:

This past week there were some videos that graced my awareness and made me cheer for women, women’s voices, art, expression and creativity.

I know there are lotsa things to watch, but I promise, these are so worth it and only 2 minutes in length

Wanna be ignited? Take a look at these short, power packed videos with soul.

1.  THIS GIRL CAN is a UK based company that made this viral video for women that is inspiring many to jiggle, wiggle, sweat and love their body. And it is BadAss for sure!



2. GET LIT: These three girls are part of an LA based organization that uses poetry as an outlet for teens. Watch them freak their truth on the Queen Latifah show.


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Top 10 Lessons from Kickstarter (part 2)

Last week I shared part 1 of my two-part post about my top 10 lessons from kickstarter which included:

1. Why with cry.

2. Trust the vision.

3. Leave the stories for your art.

4. Dump the Junk.

5. Ask with grace.

You can read the full article here.

And to continue from where we left off, here are the final lessons from my top 10 take-aways…

6. Follow the Feminine

When we have any big vision, there are a ton of action steps we can take, but that doesn’t mean we necessarily should take. Sometimes it feels like we have to do everything to make anything happen. But to me, that feels like chaotic energy.

I prefer aligned energy.

And the way I find my aligned energy is by following the Feminine. And the feminine is all about feeling.

When faced with a million choices on how to proceed, I ask myself these q’s:

What feels good in my body?

What feels the most energetic?

What feels the most graceful?

There were times during kickstarter where the stress would settle in and I could feel the contraction, the overwhelm, the chase. Not nice. And when that happened I would check in to the subtle whispers of my Wise Woman. She would gently guide my actions based on how She wanted to feel.

I know this had a beautiful impact on the success of the kickstarter. At one point I was masterminding with the brilliant Anne Perry and she was suggesting some ideas on possible next action steps to close the kickstarter goal. And because she is brilliant, she threw out many dazzling options, but I instantly knew what felt right. And it wasn’t the most logical, polished possibility; it was the one that felt right in my bones.

7. Act with love

This one is simple but not always easy; we can take action with love or with fear. We can surrender to the outcome that is for the highest good and act with ease or stress. Once we have an action plan, it is easy to stay stuck on results. And of course with kickstarter it was about the results and… if I just thought about that daily, it’d be gross.

How can we be ferociously devoted while also letting go of the tense expectation of an end result?

This is the spiritual journey.

I’m still learning and refining. For me, there is a poetic dance between desire and non-attachment. There is a slinky rhythm that allows me to want and act with relaxed movement at the same time. Making our dreams come true through forcing is not fun for me at this point.

I like fierce. I like focused. I like Feminine. I choose to act with love. [Read more...]

Top 10 lessons from kickstarter (part 1)

For all you artistpreneurs and visionary badasses;

This is part one of a two part post about the take-aways and major lessons learned from my kickstarter journey. For me, this has been one of the most intense (and involved) soul undertakings I have ever said YES to (great prep for Dirty Me Divine; the one-woman show).  And kickstarter was a GO!!!! The funds were raised and every cell in this body, every desire and delight, every thought and doubt has shifted and expanded from this experience.

As we move into 2015 and you move into your dirty divine visions, I hope the lessons  below support you in dreaming as wide and far as your magical child can imagine and then taking action that is as potent as your potential.

 Top 5 lessons (part one)

 1. Why with cry.

Any vision needs a soul-stirring, cell-tingling, body- quivering why. Ready to sweat love and life into your art? Then you gotta feel the WHY. The why for our visions aren’t polite or reasonable or polished; no no, they are raunchy, raw,  and real to your heart. There must be a full, phat, funky why. I don’t care if it makes you howl, giggle, or cry but it’s gotta make you feel deep. Begin there.

2. Trust the vision.

Your larger vision (for a show, a book, a program) will have many smaller visions underneath it. Each vision matters. Each vision needs your attention. Each vision must come from your Truth.  Don’t get so stuck on the “big” vision that you lose love for all the baby visions that must unfold first.

My larger vision of  Dirty me Divine was the umbrella for many other visions; including a kickstarter campaign.  And within kickstarter there was also the video vision that would promote the kickstarter message. I had a sense when I went into the video production of what I wanted, but I wasn’t 100% tuned in. When I saw a rough cut of what my videographer had put together, I felt a tug at my heart. It wasn’t the vision. It wasn’t hitting my core. And on a deeper level, my soul was missing from it.  My videographer wasn’t the problem, he’s amazing, but because I knew nothing about editing or producing a video, I had given away some creative license (aka my sassy soul) to the “pros.” I decided I was going to take that power back, even though I knew diddly squat about the techie aspect. The wild woman in me became possessed with vision; I made detailed notes about how I wanted to move images and cut scenes, add in words and take away split second pauses. I chose music, I felt through the process and trusted my instinct and put in sound cues. There were moments when my editor asked me, “Are you sure you want to do this?”  It would have been easy to back down, to let him lead, but my vision at this point was strong. I just had to trust it. We ended up collaborating, my editor and I, and it was magic. Together, we birthed a video I loved.

Learning: As women, we must learn to trust our voice. As artists, we must learn to trust our instincts. As the Divine, we must learn to trust our soul.

When tuning into your visions ask yourself:

  • What is the look, feel, and expression of this vision?
  • How do I want it to make me feel?
  • What does it want to emote?
  • What is the mood or tone?
  • What is the core message?
  • What is the soul of this vision?

3. Leave the stories for your art.

In raising funds for kickstarter I had to stretch my heart beyond her shadowy fears of not good enough. I had to face any old green demons around money and take down the gross snotty gremlins that guarded my capacity to receive. In short, I had to ask for support.

Again and again.

Here’s the thing about asking, it leaves you vulnerable. And it’s oh-so-peasy-breezy-easy for your monsters to make up mean stories about why someone isn’t responding to your requests. They must think I’m crazy/I’m bothering them/I’ve asked too much are just some of the dirty demons that crossed my mind.

But, I was proven wrong. On many occasions, women gave me more than what I asked, they responded with love, and gifted me with mastermind calls and ideas to get this thing done. Not everyone. But many.

And I learned to never ever make up a story that didn’t serve my soul about why someone perhaps couldn’t help. Instead of spiraling into “I suck” I chose things like: they might be super busy, maybe they don’t have space, it’s not about me.

Which leads me to lesson 4….

4.    Dump the junk.

When your vision is mad huge and your heart is pumping with passion, the floodgates are open; to tears, to ooey-gooey tenderness, to raw risky exposure. The heart, sacred, dazzling, and full of l.o.v.e is sensitive and wants to open and contract or close. The practice of staying open was perhaps one of the greatest spiritual lessons of this kickstarter journey. It was easy to make a bold request and then want to shrink away from it. For example, if I had 15 people I wanted to reach out to in one day, after not hearing back from 7 of them, it would be easy to want to quit (and close the heart). But I knew that if this dope dream was my destiny, I would want to remain open. And the way through that, was to dump the junk.


We are channels of energy and I like to imagine that I have a pipeline running through my body that connects me to the heavens and the earth. That line is either clear or murky. And if it’s clogged with icky feelings or thoughts, I can’t take clean action. I may take action, but if it is heavy, uninspired, or robotic; it muddies the response to that action. So daily, I would dump any thoughts of: I can’t do this, it won’t work, they don’t like me.

 Tools I used to dump were:

  • Writing the thoughts, dumping them from mind to paper. I like outing the shadow into the light so that was huge for me.
  • SOS calls to sisters with requests to cheer me on.
  • Calling on my Alter Shego. I have a badass bitch within that’ll cut through the whiny noise of my good girl and get shit done without worry or concern about other people’s reactions. I like her. A lot. I used her. A lot.

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