Fun fact: I used to be a stripper. I liked it. Till I didn’t. Stripping was a monster that fed the wound of shame and not belonging. It ate me up and spit me into that cesspool of disgust. Not belonging was a wound that had festered in my teen years as a ballerina, when I was never skinny enough, talented enough, or pretty enough. I became a walking apology. I started to get sick. My body and my life reflected the idea that something was wrong with me and I should stay small and quiet. Years of this and I wanted to die until....
I started hearing women's wisdom.
I read books and stories from the female lens and realized that I was internalizing shame that came from religious, patriarchal minds.
I decided to turn my shame inside out and tell my story. Give it meaning. Create.
I ended up birthing Dirty Me Divine, a one woman show about my secret life as a dancer.
I was terrified and electrified.
This was my first taste of turning poison into medicine.
DMD played to sold out theaters in LA as well as Boston and San Francisco. Self-expression, sharing my point of view, and spilling my secrets liberated my voice and body. I got stronger. I felt more alive. And I became aware of the power my voice had to impact.
I wanted this for other women.
I wanted circles and stages and retreats where women could have the life-changing experience of exploring, naming, and speaking their truths. Spaces where women could share their voice, write what hurt, dance their grief, and share their stories and be witnessed.
I studied storytelling, feminine spirituality, rites of passage work, and facilitation and began creating spaces for women's voices to be heard.
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Burlesque was where I finally found freedom in my body and soul.
BALLET AND MARTHA GRAHAM'S MODERN DANCE WERE MY LIFE AS A TEEN
I met my husband when I was 21 years old.
I come FROM BABA YAGA LANDS. RUSSIAN IS MY NATIVE LANGUAGE AND ALTHOUGH I LIVE IN LA, MY SOUL BELONGS IN THE WOODS.